Ouvrez les fenêtres de votre coeur (codeinconnu) wrote,
Ouvrez les fenêtres de votre coeur

Nearly 10 years

I have been on livejournal for nearly 10 years. Not that I update much now, nor indeed for the last few years. In fact it has been over a year since the last entry and it is another year to the one previous to that so I have not been much of an active user. I do still check in on the friends page but that too seems to have gone very quiet - has livejournal finally died and everyone moved on to pastures new?

10 years is an eternity in internet terms...an internity i guess. Actually a decade is a long time offline too and it seems to have flown by when I think back. What saddens me is that I feel I have not taken full advantage of a significant amount of that time nor the opportunities that were presented. I'm not saying the time was wasted more like not fully utilised and it also worries me how quick it went by. I suspect a recurring theme of my journal over the years (at least when i bothered to update it) is the passing of time and the corollary to this is my fear of mortality - not an unusual view at all - but i think i may have it worse than most in that i struggle to think about it at all.

How can i type about it just now then? Well i'm not actually thinking about it as i type - i am instead concentrating on the noise the rain is making on the window - because I know if i let my head drift towards the subject then it leads to a dark place and I will feel a real sense of panic developing which will overwhelm me for a few minutes. As I am aware of what will happen it is thankfully not a regular occurrence because i can usually guard against it (think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts ;) ) but all the same it is not a pleasant place to be.

I'm not even sure why i brought this up, i only intended to say hello and that i enjoyed reading about your lives over the last decade even if i rarely use this site now.
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